Blowback
by Arikae
Summary: Episode tag to Blowback. After a bad day at work Colby went out to drink alone. Not a good idea after being only two feet away from a car bomb.


**Author's note: So this is a tag to the episode Blowback. This one's a weird one for me because I shy away from any kind of male/female or male/male or female/female relationships (not that this story is romantic in any way, shape or form). Anyway, I'll let you guys read and decide. It's another short one with a little hurt/comfort and angst.**

 **Warning: un-betaed.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.**

David Sinclair walked into the bar in Bel Air. It was a bit of a drive but he wasn't here to drink. If he wanted to drink he would've gone to the one the team frequented. Nohe was searching for his partner. He scanned old western style bar and found him in the corner booth, drinking alone. He counted four beers in the space of two hours. Colby won't be driving home tonight. David sighed and shuffled his way through the crowd to his friend. "You having a rough day?"

Colby was sitting back, one arm resting along the top of the bench he was sitting on and the other hand playing with the label on his beer. He didn't have to look up to see who it was. "How did you find me?"

"I tracked your cell's GPS." David answered as if it were obvious.

"You do realise I chose this place because I want to be alone." Colby said testily.

"You do realise you were next to a car when it exploded, right?" David said instead of answering. "I was there when the paramedics arrived. They told you to go to the ER to get checked out for a concussion."

"I'm fine, David."

"Are you sure? Because according to your lack of judgement during this case…" David grimaced, "I don't think you are."

Colby scoffed, "And here I thought you were worried about my health."

"Colby…you slept with a potential witness _and_ when I told you to stay put in the office you went to find her anyway." David shook his head, not understanding why Colby didn't get how bad the situation could've been. "You could've tanked the case. Hell, it still could tank if the defense finds out about it!"

Colby closed his eyes, too tired to talk about this now. This was why he chose a bar that was out of the way. He had one the worse day in his career. He didn't want to be reminded of how he put it and a case in jeopardy. "I know I screwed up. That's why I went to find her. She wouldn't have given it to anyone else." He finished up his fifth bottle and opened another one. "Hey!" He complained when David took the bottle from him and drank it himself.

"I need a drink too and you've already had enough. We still have a job tomorrow and you have a possible concussion."

Colby groaned, "David…" He gave up, knowing his partner wouldn't leave him alone. "Fine." He threw his hands up, "I'll go home." He got up to leave.

David examined his friend as he rose from the booth. He had scratches and bruises on his face and he seemed to favour his right side as he moved. David got up and followed Colby outside before saying anything. Once they were away from any prying eyes, David grabbed Colby's arm to stop him from getting in his car. "You want to tell me what's bothering you?"

Colby really wished David would let it go. He made a big mistake but it's over now and the case ended the way they wanted it to. "It won't happen again, okay? I just…" Colby winced as he shrugged and sighed, leaning back against his car. "She's beautiful and she's strong. She had a crappy hand dealt to her but she's still standing and thinking of starting her own business. I…" There was no excuse really. "Maybe I'm just sick of going home to my one bedroom condo, alone." Colby shook his head, "Maybe after two years of spy and undercover work, I'm tired of avoiding having any kind of relationship."

David wore an amused expression, "I actually meant physically. You're favouring your right side."

Colby glared at his partner's teasing expression. "Thanks." He growled before turning back to his car but as soon as he opened the door, David slammed it back shut. He closed his eyes, trying to swallow the frustration that was building up, not wanting to unleash it on David, "David, I'm fine."

"You're not driving home." David stated simply. "I'll drive you back here in the morning to pick your car up but you're not driving it back to tonight. You're not losing your job over today and you're definitely not losing your job over a DUI."

"Whatever." Colby sighed, he was beginning to get a headache now and his body was not being subtle anymore. The pain in his side went from dull to throbbing. "Let's just go."

* * *

David looked over at his sleeping passenger. The man was exhausted and started to look pale. He wondered if he shouldn't just drive Colby to the hospital and get him checked out. "Hey Colby, I'm going to get you checked out, okay?" David asked, loudly enough that Colby should've heard him. "Colby!" He called louder, frowning when Colby didn't respond. He reached over and shook him. "COLBY!" Still no response. "Damn it!" David stopped the car and turned to his partner, checking for his pulse. It was steady. He slapped his face. "Colby!" David hurriedly got his seat belt back on and threw the siren onto the roof of his car.

* * *

David watched from the window of the private room as the nurses inserted an IV into Colby who was still unconscious. He was waiting for a doctor to come in and explain what happened. He remembered the large bruise covering Colby's right side and abdomen when the doctors in the ER had pulled open his shirt. How Colby had hidden the injury David would never know or understand why?

He turned when the door opened, hoping it was the doctor but it was Don. He had called their boss as soon as Colby was wheeled into the ER. He told him not to come over until he got more news. There was no point in everyone waiting around when tomorrow was still a work day.

"How is he?" Don whispered as he walked over to David while watching Colby, trying to determine if how badly Colby was injured.

"The doctor hasn't come in yet, but the nurse told me he's fine for now."

Don nodded, "So what happened?" He knew something was up between his agents. David was tense throughout this case and Colby seemed to avoid any eye contact with Don afterwards. This case wouldn't have been solved without Colby so Don didn't understand why Colby seemed distant after it.

"The idiot didn't tell anyone that he wasn't feeling too great." David growled, "He went for a few drinks which probably made it worse."

Don frowned at that, "Wait a minute. You guys went out for drinks and didn't invite me?" It wasn't that he was insulted, just that they always asked.

David scoffed, "Hell, I wasn't even invited. I had to track the guy down."

That got Don's investigative mind thinking. "So Colby went drinking on his own after being two feet away from a car bomb. You had to track him down which meant he went to a place he didn't expect any of us to be." Don wasn't happy. "What the hell happened on this case, David. You and Colby have been acting strange all day."

"It's over, Don. You don't need to know." David sighed, knowing that wasn't going to stop his boss.

"I can ask Colby when he's awake if that's what you want."

No, he didn't want Colby to have to face Don's anger. Not in his condition. "Off the record?" David asked, softly. Don nodded stiffly. David waited for the nurse to leave before talking. "Colby slept with Lyn Potter."

"He _what_?" Don was beyond angry. "This case could go up in flames because of him."

David rubbed his eyes, nodding. "I know. That's what I told him."

"You knew and you let him keep working on the case?"

"I tried to keep him away from her but it's not as if I could cuff him to a chair." David voice was strained, trying his hardest not to yell back at Don for telling him something he already knew.

"Maybe that's what you should've…" He was interrupted by a voice from the bed.

Colby had been awake for a while now but he didn't feel like talking to anyone or listening to anyone but he knew he was being a coward and when Don turned his anger on David, he couldn't stay silent. "He was just trying…to protect me." Colby tried to get up but his whole body protested at the movement. He closed his eyes, groaning at the pain.

"Hey." David rushed over to his side. "Don't move."

Colby opened his eyes and looked at David, tired. "What happened?"

"You passed out in my car. Obviously your body couldn't take any more abuse from you." David admonished his partner. "You should've got yourself checked out."

Colby just nodded, not wanting to argue with his partner when he was already taking heat from their boss. "Yeah, I should've."

"Get some rest." Don told him, too angry to say anymore.

Colby looked at him, ashamed of his actions today. "It's not David's fault. If you need to report this, leave his name out of it."

David sighed; he was hoping to keep Colby out of the conversation. "How much did you hear?" David knew Don wasn't going to do anything about the information. He cared about Colby's career as much David did. And even if that wasn't enough, Don wouldn't report this, knowing it will destroy the district attorney's case and let the perpetrators go free.

"All of it."

"What were you thinking, Colby?" Don asked, but he wasn't angry like he was before. Seeing his agent awake, in pain and looking ashamed made him soften his tone.

"I wasn't." Colby shook his head, not looking at Don. "She kissed me and it felt…nice." He shrugged. "So I let myself believe that I wasn't an FBI Agent and she wasn't a witness." Colby smiled, sadly, "It's been a while since I've felt that happy." Don frowned. Colby always seemed happy with where he was. He thought the FBI was where he wanted to be, that the team was his place. Colby saw the expression and shook his head at his boss. "It's got nothing to do with the team or being an FBI Agent. Career-wise, I couldn't be happier; saving lives, seeing families reunite." He looked at David. "I'm not like you guys. I'm not looking to climb the ladder. I like where I am, but my personal life isn't ideal and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to start a family." Colby chuckled, his face going red. He didn't know why he just said all that to his boss and partner. Maybe he did hit his head harder than he thought. "I'm sorry." He finished.

David and Don exchanged worried looks. Nobody knew Colby felt that way but it's not as if he were alone with those thoughts. Every FBI Agent felt that way at one point of their career. Their lifestyle didn't allow for many chances to meet women, let alone start a serious relationship. They didn't know what to say, but Don tried.

"Hey, you know, Colby…you're a great…"

Colby laughed, he couldn't help it, despite the pain it cause. He wrapped his arm around his middle. "Don't…please don't start. I'm fine. I don't even know why I told you all that but we," He grinned as he gestured to the three of them, "don't need to have a heart to heart about relationships."

Don and David laughed as well but it was more in relief. They didn't really want to talk about it either. It was weird. Don was glad Colby could still laugh. "Look, what happened between you and Lyn Potter is going to stay between us."

"I don't want you guys to get in trouble because of me." Colby was grateful but he couldn't ask Don and David to put their careers on the line.

"As far as I'm concerned; you went to Lyn Potter because you were following up a lead. She gave you that file after she was almost killed." Don shrugged. "Stick to that story. I take it Lyn Potter isn't going to be a problem?"

Colby shook his head, "She left and she wouldn't have said anything."

"You're sure about that."

Colby nodded, "She's a good person, Don."

"Then that's it. We've all done stupid things that has jeopardised cases, myself included." Don told them. "But the next time something like this happens, you tell me! Got it?" Colby and David knew what Don was saying. He's their boss. He was there to keep them in line but he was also there to protect them. He couldn't do that if he didn't have the facts. "Also, if you do it again, I'll fire you." And there's that.

"Agent Granger." The doctor walked in with his clipboard and medical records.

"Saved by the bell." David and Colby mumbled. Don glared at them.

"You've done quite a number to yourself." The doctor kept going, completely missing the exchanges between the agents. "Three cracked ribs, a mild concussion and internal bleeding in the small intestines."

David's mouth widened at every injury, then turned to glare at his partner. "You want to tell me you didn't feel any of those?!"

Colby shrugged guiltily, "Maybe the ribs…" This time Don glared at him. "And I had a headache," then quickly added, "but I knew nothing about the internal bleeding."

Don held up a finger, telling him not say another word. Clearly, he wasn't happy about anything that went on today. He turned to the doctor, "Doctor…"

"Danvers." The doctor supplied.

"Dr Danvers…so what's going to happen? It sounds pretty bad."

"It sounds worse than it is." Dr Danvers assured them. "The internal bleeding isn't bad and it can heal on its own as will the broken ribs and concussion. All of those injuries plus the alcohol in his blood stream, are what sent him unconscious." Don shook his head at Colby as if he were an eight year old. "I would like to keep him here for the night…" Colby was about to protest but another look from Don shut him up. "Just for to monitor him and ensure there won't be any complications. After that you can go home but I'll recommend three days of best rest and then another two weeks of light activity."

Colby groaned but didn't dare to complain. Don was pissed enough. "I'll make sure he adheres to your instructions." He said to the doctor but was looking at Colby. The doctor nodded and left them alone.

David and Don remained standing, glaring at Colby who tried to pretend they weren't there. "You're very good at keeping things from me today."

"I swear, Don, I wasn't feeling that bad." Colby tried to defend himself.

"You could've killed yourself running around with those injuries!" David joined in.

"And to go drinking by yourself! You're lucky David found you otherwise we would've found you in a ditch somewhere!" Don couldn't believe it. "How stupid can you be?! Or are you trying to kill yourself?"

It was Colby's turn to be angry, "I didn't know! I had a headache and sore ribs! I've had worse surfing!" He pushed himself up, ignoring the pain as well as Don and David's protest. "Do I look like someone who would kill myself? I'm not _that_ stupid!" He laid back down, exhausted. "I've had a crappy day so if all you want to do is lecture me about my bad choices then just go home. I've heard enough." He closed his eyes, telling them he's done talking about this. Don frowned, something he had said triggered the outburst.

Don sighed. It was clear Colby wasn't going to say any more. He looked at David who shrugged. "We'll see you in the morning, Colb." Don said.

"Yeah, good night." David sighed when Colby didn't respond. Don gestured for them to leave. "Think we were a little hard on him?" David asked after closing the door to Colby's room.

"If we were it was for his own good." Don said but not with the conviction he had inside the room. "I mean, the guy has to learn he can't keep this stuff from us. He's gonna get himself killed one day."

"Yeah, let's hope he sees it that way in the morning." David didn't sound hopeful.

* * *

Colby was dressed and sitting on his bed waiting for Don or David to come pick him up. He was surprised to see it was Don. "I'm shocked you didn't check yourself out." Was the first thing out of Don's mouth. He winced when he realised how that sounded, considering how they left things the night before.

"Yeah, well, didn't want anyone accusing me of being stupid and suicidal." Colby returned, carefully getting off the bed. "Can we go?" He still wasn't in the best of moods.

"Yeah, let's go." Don stood aside to let Colby go first.

"I could've got a cab home, you know." Colby stated, not knowing why he was egging Don into another argument.

"Not likely." Don answered, "You have a concussion. They would've made you sign an AMA."

Colby scoffed, "You think I wouldn't sign it?"

"Yeah, I think you wouldn't sign it." Don said confidently.

"Don," Colby was confused, "You think I'm suicidal, why wouldn't I sign it?"

Don sighed, regretting ever letting that comment slip out. "I don't actually think that you would deliberately take your own life." He didn't understand why Colby was taking that comment so personally. "I only meant that you take unnecessary risks. It doesn't take much to get yourself checked out after falling from a balcony or taking a swim in the dam."

"I don't like hospitals." Don didn't think anything of the comment. Nobody liked being in the hospital but it doesn't change the fact that there are times they all needed to be there. "I went with my mom and my sister to the hospital after my dad's accident." Colby continued talking as if he was reliving the memory. "My mom got to the door of the morgue but she couldn't walk in." Colby shrugged, "All of a sudden I was the man of the house. My dad's body had to be identified, so I walked in there with the police officer and nodded at the man on the table." Don was shocked with what he was hearing. "It wasn't my dad; half skull was crushed. My dad wasn't there anymore but I nodded, because the corpse had my dad's face."

Don had read Colby's file. "You were fifteen."

Again Colby shrugged as if it were no big deal. It had to be done and he was the man of the house. "I couldn't force my mom to do it. She was a wreck."

"But you were only fifteen!" No wonder Colby hated hospitals so much; that would've scarred anyone. "I'm sorry."

Colby smiled sadly at his boss, "It was almost two decade ago. I'm fine."

Don nodded, smiling, "Yeah, you are."

They reached Don's car and Colby got in but didn't pull the seat beat across. He looked over at Don who was waiting for him. "I'm not being suicidal. The seatbelt hurts my ribs."

Don nodded, thoughtfully. There it was again. Something about the suicide comment really hit a sore spot for Colby. "I'll drive slowly."

"Thanks."

They drove quietly for about five minutes before Don couldn't handle it anymore. "So I know why you don't like hospitals." He started, glancing over at Colby who was looking out the window. "Do you have a story for why you won't let go of what I said last night?"

Colby turned to him, his eyes were sad, even held some guilt in there. "You know I'm one of the lucky ones. I was kept out of the front-lines because of my college degree."

Don nodded, "I'm glad for that. I wouldn't have such a great agent otherwise."

Colby smiled gratefully at the compliment but it faded when he continued his story. "A lot of my army buddies weren't as fortunate. A few died over there but more died when they got back."

Don was beginning to understand, "They took their own life?"

Colby nodded, "When we were training, we told ourselves no matter what, we defend our country. If we die, we die on the battlefield. We've heard how so many soldiers kill themselves when they return from war and we told ourselves that was the easy way out. We made a pact that we would never take our own lives." Colby scoffed, shaking our head. "We were naïve and stupid! The first one of us was Toby Dumont. He had PTSD and when he died none of my army buddies turned up for his funeral because of that pact, but I did. I did because I had no right to judge. I didn't see what they saw." He turned to Don. "I would never commit suicide for the same reason. I don't have the right." Colby thought back to his father. "And then there's the suspicion that my dad drove himself off that road deliberately leaving me to pick up the pieces." Colby shook his head, "So yeah, your comment about me being suicidal hit a sore spot." He chuckled, "Sorry, didn't mean to unload all that on you."

Don sighed at hearing the story. Colby was younger than he was but he's seen so much more. "Don't be. I asked." Then he added, "But just for the record, I know you would never kill yourself and so does David." Colby smiled and nodded. "However, you do take stupid risks and, for mine and David's sanity, you're going to have to stop."

Colby laughed, grimacing at his side, "Don't make laugh." Then he frowned when he realised they weren't heading to his place. He groaned, "Don't tell me you're not making me stay at Charlie's."

Don shrugged, "Okay, who should I tell then?"

Colby sunk in his seat. There was no point in arguing with his boss. "Does Charlie know you're planning to turn his house into a recovery unit?"

"Now that you know how much you hate hospitals I might turn it into a full on Medical Unit." Don said cheekily.

"I might not commit suicide but I have no problem with committing homicide." Colby threatened. Don just grinned.

 **The END!**

 **P.S. Does anyone know which episode started off with Colby in a building with some other agents and David running in to warn them there was a bomb? Everyone got out in time, of course but I can't seem to find the episode. If you know it, please PM or put it in a review. Thanks in advance!**


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